How am I feeling?

Since our miscarriage a couple weeks ago I've had many people ask how I'm doing ... how I'm feeling? I always find that a difficult questing to answer ... because to be bluntly honest I don't always know. But today I heard this song on the radio and it brought me to tears, so for today this pretty well sums up how I'm doing:


HOLD ME JESUS

First Kings 19:3-13, Matthew 11:25-30

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

From the A Liturgy a Legacy and a Ragamuffin Band CD

Rejoicing in Stress

What a difference it makes to choose rejoicing ...

Over the last month our 9 year old fractured his leg ... I had another miscarriage ... our 2 year old has continued to not grow and have cycles of diarrhea, so he has now been through 3 blood draws, an upper GI, a stomach and sm intestine biopsy, and a sweat test. We are waiting on results. We were thinking Celiacs, but some of the tests no longer point that way ... although our Dr. wants to repeat tests in 6 months. And we are now rather behind in the schooling dept.

All of that said, I choose to raise my hands and praise my Lord. He is truly an Awesome God. I'll admit that there are days I don't "feel" like praising and rejoicing, but I try. Sometimes its all I can do to read a verse and repeat over and over that I love my Lord! But then there are the moments when we realize that God provided a nurse for our 2 year old that looks like his grandma. So even while he felt funny coming out of anesthesia (after his biopsy) he was very calm, because every time he manged to get his eyes open he thought he saw "bl-lal-lal-la" (that's his name for grandma ... she loves it). I was so shocked that he was not in the least bit frightened or upset when the nurse brought him to us in recovery. Later he called the nurse "bl-lal-lal-la" ... I knew that my mom was not there, so I was confused for a moment, but then I realized that his nurse had the same hair cut and color as my mom and looked a lot like her. I could never have thought to ask for that piece of comfort ... but the Lord provided it anyway. We are so blessed! I hope I can continue to see God's hand in all the small moments and blessings of daily life ... it makes all the difference and I'm reminded to rejoice in all circumstances.

Ahhh... its Sept

Well, Sept is a crazy month for us as 3 of our 4 kids have Sept. birthdays:
Rosebud turned 12, Gus-Gus turned 9 and our Baby Z turned 2.

Mr. O (aka Daddy's Shadow) will turn 6 in Feb ... lucky for him he gets a party all to himself. He doesn't think he is so lucky ... poor guy just wants birthday gifts now like everyone else. My mama heart did give in and bought him a webkinz.

So here are pictures of the birthday kids (plus O, cause I just could not leave him out)