Merry Christmas!

My time on the computer is much less than it used to be, so blogging has slowed down, too. Pregnancy is going about as we expected ... I'm sick sick sick. Lost 10 lbs in the last 4 weeks. I'm not complaining, its just the way life is right now. I've been to the ER for IV fluids and am on Zofran, but still sick. We are going to try do Christmas as usual, but may have to change plans and just stay at home if I get any worse. Am trying very hard to not let the way I physically feel affect my emotions and mood.

Christmas Shopping

Well, the season is here to brave the crowds and find those perfect gifts to express love to family and friends. Of course a pregnant mom with 4 kids in tow, is not the best candidate for this job. But we try. Last night we were pleasantly surprised by an event at our local christian bookstore. They held a Children's shopping night. I registered our 12, 9, and 5 year olds a few days before and we arrived just before they were closing the store to normal business. From 6-8:30 it was open only to the families who signed up for this experience. Parents filled out "lists" of who the kids were to shop for and how much the child could spend of each gift, then we purchased a gift card for the total amount, when we registered. So last night the kids walked in with gift cards and lists, ready to independently choose the gifts they would give mom, dad and siblings. The were so excited and very proud to be keep their purchases a surprise. The store has a coffee shop where the parents hung out and waited, they also had snacks and crafts for the kids who were waiting their turn to shop. The kids went in shifts as there were only 8 "personal shoppers" (store employees) to escort the kids thru the store. They helped them stay with in their price parameters, gave them gift suggestions, helped them checkout, and then helped wrap each gift they bought. It was so much fun to see my kids so excited to pick out gifts for each other ... it will be even more fun on Christmas to watch them as they watch each other open those gifts. So that was the beginning of our Christmas shopping ... we'll see if the rest goes so smoothly

Its Official!

We waited to tell everyone till I had blood work and an early ultrasound ... everything looks good so:

The Mom Song by GoFish

Here is the lyrics to a new song off of Go Fish's newest CD Snazzy
And the Go Fish website: www.gofishguys.com



If you have a stroller
But you're still a rock and roller
You're a mom
If you're tired of doing dishes
And you know who Elmo's fish is
You're a mom
If you have a lot of fun
But your work is never done
You're a mom

You're the boss, the driver
The ultimate survivor
A doctor, a cooker
Your man thinks you're a looker
If you work all day
But you never get paid
You're a mom

If you need a sick day
But instead you're gonna play
You're a mom
If your first occupation
Sounds like a sweet vacation
You're a mom
If your living room floor
Looks like a toy store
You're a mom

If you mean the whole world
To a little boy or girl
You're a mom
The Bible that you hold
Can shape these little souls
You're a mom
If you have the most important job in the world
You're a mom

You're the boss, the driver
The ultimate survivor
A doctor, a cooker
Your man thinks you're a looker
If you work all day
But you never get paid
You're a mom

Babies on Wordless Wednsday

Breastfeeding on Sesame Street

My 5 year old with my camera

So, I let my 5 year old wander around the house with my camera taking pictures of some of his favorite things ... these make me smile. I'll admitt I wish the TV were not one of his favorite, but at least it was off :) The others are the Beta in his big brother's fish tank, his little brother drinking juice and his latest kids meal toy

Scrapbooking!

My 12 year old Rosebud and I have taken the last few days off and made calendars for 2008. On Tuesday my friend and her daughter joined us, she brought her boys to play with my boys too. We had a great day being creative ... now I just need to get the photos on each month. I think my daughter's calendar looks better than mine :) I guess that should not surprise me as she is much more of an artist than I am. Still, its been fun and therapeutic to put aside the normal daily stuff and be creative!

Haiku Friday

Babies I'll never
Get to hold, cuddle or kiss
My angel babies

Liberty John and
Elijah Lee are resting
in our Savior's arms

What comfort to know
They have arrived safely "Home"
Engulfed in His Love

Haiku Friday

My baby is two!
Now he can run, jump, and sing.
Where did those years go?

Once tiny and new
I'd hold and rock him all day
No words then just looks

Now he's on the go
Seems he speaks new words each day
And runs faster, too

I miss tiny toes
But now I tie shoes so he
can go out and play

I miss baby souds
But now he calls me Mama
And I love his voice

I miss tiny times
But its clear two will be fun
Together in love

Rejoicing in not understanding

Why is it that all of our boys have loved things that have wheels and make loud noises? Our daughter never thought those kinds of things were extraordinary :) But all of our boys fight over who gets to "help" dad mow the lawn. Now, from the paranoid mama mind ... this seems like a very bad idea (as a lawn mower could potentially cause bodily harm), but I trust my hubby and I see how very much the boys enjoy helping dad with his "chores". I do hope they grow up to be just like this dad they adore so much. God has blessed me with a wonderful man! Lots of things I'll never really understand about him or our sons, but that's OK, they are wonderful sons of a living God and I'm proud to love them.

How to add a photo to my profile?

Well, technology has me stumped :) I've tried and tried to find a way to add this photo to my profile and it just won't work ... giving up for the night.

Therapy in Blogs and Boards

These blog things are amazing, ha? People just talk (write) about life ... I've also found great fellowship in the discussion boards at Gentle Christian Mothers. Perhaps I'm an extreme extrovert who is not getting out enough with other adults these days, or perhaps I just need to talk (type) more that most people. Reading posts and blogs by other attachment parenting moms or other christian homeschooling moms, or other moms who have lost their babies to miscarriage ... its therapeutic (for lack of a better sounding word). Anyway here is a cut and paste from another mom's blog that really hit home for me today ... go check out her blog at:


Glass Half Full


Remembering back when I was pregnant with Mark I had this idea having a second child would be a laid-back experience since I've "been there done that" with Matt. Everyone tells you that. However, life's circumstances threw me a curve ball and I found myself suffering from bouts of PPD and constant anxiety. I was so ashamed to admit these feelings to anyone. I felt that maybe I wasn't measuring up to most normal moms. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother and my boys are the most important treasures in my life, but all these attacks came against me and I was ready to give up. I needed support and for someone to tell me everything was going to be ok.


I knew I had to confide in close, trustworthy friends and most of all, Jesus had to heal my heart and mind. Thanks to people like Kristi, Stephanie and most of all, my mom, I was able admit my true heart, which was full of guilt and pain, and finally allow my spirit to be restored. Funny how in the midst of my roller coaster ride God taught me how I should value others and be there when they are in need. Isn't that just like our Father to do that? I wanted to make sure I was available when another person is faced with a crossroad. A battle. Or just a plain old cruddy day. No one really knows what happens behind close doors, so I decided to make myself available to others and bring a sense of hope.


At the end of this experience I found out most moms don't have it all together. Just when you think a mom is gliding through life with a smile on her face, you realize she has the same feelings you do. Those emotions of fear and worry. She is trying get through the day without breaking apart just like you. Why did I pass judgement on these women and think they were so much better than me? I couldn't answer that then, but now I think part of it was feeling sorry for myself and the other was just being too weary to even think positively anymore.


So when I entitled this blog Glass Half Full, I wanted moms to realize that life has its ups and downs. We all go through valleys and trials. We all have moments of joy and contentment. We need to be honest with each other. Support one another by being real and not hiding our emotions when life decides to shake us up a bit. And most of all to know that through it all, God is there every step of the way to lead and guide us. All we have to do is take His hand.


(To this day my dad is still cancer free!!!)

Posted by Lori @ Glass Half Full

Funny babies :P

Bring The Rain - by Mercy Me

Thought I'd share the lyrics to the song I woke up to this morning ...
I was discussing with God last night why sometimes life is so hard, why it has to hurt so much. I've felt like an emotioanl ping pong ball these past two months, not even sure I have words to explain it ... but God knows and I know he understands. So this morning was the only morning this week that I've set my alarm and this was the song I woke up to:



I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain


Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing


everybody singing
Holy holy holy
you are holy
you are holy

Bring The Rain

Remembering Our Babies

Please visit this site about Preganacy and Infant Loss. Its so hard to move on after losing a baby and the dreams you had. I know we appreciate the idea of a remembrance day. We will always remember the two we have yet to hold.

www.october15th.com

What might the future hold? No left turns?

I recieved this piece in an email from a friend today and it got me thinkning of where will I be when I'm 102? What will I be doing? I'm sorta a planner and I like to know what the future holds, so I'd like to say I've got it all mapped out, but one thing that God has taught me (especially during pregnancies) is found in Proverbs 19:21:

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lords purpose that prevails.


So enjoy the article, but remember that any and every part of your future is in the hands of our Lord Almighty.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed.

My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.

He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in: "Oh, bull----!" she said. "He hit a horse."

"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines, would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.

But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.

(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"

"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

"No left turns," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.

As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."

"What?" I said again.

"No left turns," he said. "Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."

"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.
"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works."
But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.

"Loses count?" I asked.

"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."

I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.

"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90.

She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."

"You're probably right," I said.

"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.

"Because you're 102 years old," I said.

"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.

He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:

"I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words: "I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."

A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.

I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life,
Or because he quit taking left turns. "

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."

Amazing video of His love

you'll probably need to copy and paste this ... but so worth the effort to see this amazing video:

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5


it's a video on Godtube titled Lifehouse Everything Skit

How am I feeling?

Since our miscarriage a couple weeks ago I've had many people ask how I'm doing ... how I'm feeling? I always find that a difficult questing to answer ... because to be bluntly honest I don't always know. But today I heard this song on the radio and it brought me to tears, so for today this pretty well sums up how I'm doing:


HOLD ME JESUS

First Kings 19:3-13, Matthew 11:25-30

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

From the A Liturgy a Legacy and a Ragamuffin Band CD

Rejoicing in Stress

What a difference it makes to choose rejoicing ...

Over the last month our 9 year old fractured his leg ... I had another miscarriage ... our 2 year old has continued to not grow and have cycles of diarrhea, so he has now been through 3 blood draws, an upper GI, a stomach and sm intestine biopsy, and a sweat test. We are waiting on results. We were thinking Celiacs, but some of the tests no longer point that way ... although our Dr. wants to repeat tests in 6 months. And we are now rather behind in the schooling dept.

All of that said, I choose to raise my hands and praise my Lord. He is truly an Awesome God. I'll admit that there are days I don't "feel" like praising and rejoicing, but I try. Sometimes its all I can do to read a verse and repeat over and over that I love my Lord! But then there are the moments when we realize that God provided a nurse for our 2 year old that looks like his grandma. So even while he felt funny coming out of anesthesia (after his biopsy) he was very calm, because every time he manged to get his eyes open he thought he saw "bl-lal-lal-la" (that's his name for grandma ... she loves it). I was so shocked that he was not in the least bit frightened or upset when the nurse brought him to us in recovery. Later he called the nurse "bl-lal-lal-la" ... I knew that my mom was not there, so I was confused for a moment, but then I realized that his nurse had the same hair cut and color as my mom and looked a lot like her. I could never have thought to ask for that piece of comfort ... but the Lord provided it anyway. We are so blessed! I hope I can continue to see God's hand in all the small moments and blessings of daily life ... it makes all the difference and I'm reminded to rejoice in all circumstances.

Ahhh... its Sept

Well, Sept is a crazy month for us as 3 of our 4 kids have Sept. birthdays:
Rosebud turned 12, Gus-Gus turned 9 and our Baby Z turned 2.

Mr. O (aka Daddy's Shadow) will turn 6 in Feb ... lucky for him he gets a party all to himself. He doesn't think he is so lucky ... poor guy just wants birthday gifts now like everyone else. My mama heart did give in and bought him a webkinz.

So here are pictures of the birthday kids (plus O, cause I just could not leave him out)

On Friday Sept 14th our youngest turned two!

Hard for me to believe that two years has past. So I'm posting photos from Sept. 14th 2005, Sept 14 2006, and Sept 14 2007. Funny how much they grow and change.

Thanking God everyday for the children he has blessed us with!

MY NIECE & NEPHEW ARE 5 WEEKS OLD TODAY!!!

Now weighing 6 lbs 5 oz and 6 lbs 3oz

Keep up the good growing guys!

We took a fun "feild trip" today, to see where my sister, Amber, works. She works in engineering for NWA. The kids had a blast looking at an airport fire truck and the airport police vehicles and watching the dogs do a luggage search demo. Then they got to see where the airplanes are repaired and we sat in the cockpit of a 747. They had photo opportunities and games and crafts and food ... really a fun day, and the kids learned somthing!

Ahhh ... Fall is almost here. Everyone needed long sleeves and long pants today. I love MN seasons! By the time we reach the end of winter we are ready to see the snow melt and feel warmer temps, but by Sept. we welcome the cool crisp mornings and the need for a sweatshirt. Leaves are mostly still green, but we'll soon see bright reds, yellows and oranges ... then before we know it there will leaves all over the ground.

This is only my second entry for 2007. The idea of keeping a blog has proven more difficult than I had imagined ... or maybe its the 4 kiddos that keep me too busy to ever sit down and think long enough to type anything :) But honestly, I love being busy with my kids ... they are one of my greatest reasons for rejoicing. God has truly blessed us!

Missing my sister, my friend

January 3rd, 2006 was the last time I ever got to sit and chat with or give a hug to my friend, my sister (technically my foster sister, but we didn't care much for technicalities). Missy passed away Jan. 29th, 2006. This was the last photo ever taken of her ... she was at our house holding our little Baby Z. That was a whole year ago now; I had thought it wouldn't still be this hard. But she was certainly a shining example of "growing in rejoicing". She lived most beautifully in the Lord. She lived, she loved ... always moving forward.


I have reasons to rejoice! My life was blessed by her presence from the time we were 15 and into our 30's. I learned a lot from her attitude, her determination, and her love of the Lord. And I know that one day, one glorious day, I will see her again in Heaven.

Please visits this link to lean more about Mitochondrial Disease:

United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation


Philippians 1:21